The 12 months China’s well-known road-tripping ‘auntie’ discovered freedom

Sixty-year-old Chinese language grandmother Su Min had no intention of changing into a feminist icon.

She was solely making an attempt to flee her abusive husband when she hit the highway in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a rooftop tent and her pension.

“I felt like I might lastly catch my breath,” she says, recalling the second she drove away from her previous life. “I felt like I might survive and discover a lifestyle that I needed.”

Over the subsequent 4 years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared of her adventures, whereas detailing a long time of ache, earned her thousands and thousands of cheerleaders on-line. They known as her the “road-tripping auntie” as she inadvertently was a hero for ladies who felt trapped in their very own lives.

Her story is now successful movie that was launched in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and he or she made it to the BBC’s listing of 100 inspiring and influential girls of 2024.

It was a 12 months of huge moments, but when she needed to describe what 2024 meant to her in a single phrase, she says that phrase could be “freedom”.

As quickly as Su Min began driving, she felt freer, she advised the BBC over the cellphone from Shenyang – simply earlier than she headed south for winter in her new SUV with a caravan.

But it surely wasn’t till 2024, when she lastly filed for divorce, that she skilled “one other form of freedom”.

It took some time to get there: it is a difficult course of in China and her husband refused to divorce her till she agreed to pay him. They settled on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400) however she remains to be ready for the divorce certificates to return by.

However she is resolute that she does not wish to look again: “I am saying goodbye to him.”

In her new life on the highway, Su Min’s responsibility is to herself.

Her movies principally characteristic solely her. Though she drives alone, she by no means appears lonely. She chats along with her followers as she movies her journey, sharing what she has been cooking, how she spent yesterday and the place she’s going subsequent.

Her viewers travels along with her to locations they by no means knew they’d lengthy for – Xinjiang’s snow-capped mountains, Yunnan’s historical river cities, glowing blue lakes, huge grasslands, countless deserts.

They applaud her bravery and envy the liberty she has embraced. That they had not often heard such a uncooked first-hand account in regards to the actuality of life as a “Chinese language auntie”.

“You are so courageous! You selected to interrupt free,” wrote one follower, whereas one other urged her to “stay the remainder of your life effectively for your self!”. One girl sought recommendation as a result of she too “desires of driving alone” and an awe-struck follower mentioned: “Mother, take a look at her! Once I become old, I am going to stay a vibrant life like hers if I do not get married!”

For some, the takeaways are extra pragmatic but inspiring: “After watching your movies, I’ve realized this: as girls, we should personal our own residence, domesticate friendships far and vast, work onerous to be financially unbiased, and put money into unemployment insurance coverage!”

By way of all of it, Su Min processes her personal previous. A stray cat she encounters on the highway reminds her of herself, each of them having “weathered the wind and rain for years however nonetheless managing to like this world that dusts our faces”. A go to to the market, the place she smells chili peppers, evokes “the odor of freedom” as a result of all through her marriage spicy meals was forbidden by her husband who did not prefer it.

For years Su Min had been the dutiful daughter, spouse and mom – whilst her husband repeatedly struck her.

“I used to be a standard girl and I needed to remain in my marriage for all times,” she says. “However ultimately I noticed that I obtained nothing in return for all my vitality and energy – solely beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”

Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, has admitted to hitting her. “It is my mistake that I beat you,” he mentioned in a video she not too long ago shared on Douyin, TikTok’s China platform.

A highschool graduate, he had a authorities job within the water assets ministry for 40 years earlier than retiring, in response to native media stories. He advised an outlet in 2022 that he beat his spouse as a result of she “talked again” and that it was “an unusual factor”: “In a household, how can there not be some bangs and crashes?”

Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “actually to keep away from my father’s management, and to keep away from the entire household”.

She was born and raised in Tibet till 1982, when her household moved to Henan, a bustling province within the valley alongside the Yellow River. She had simply completed highschool and located work in a fertiliser manufacturing facility, the place most of her feminine colleagues, together with these youthful than 20, already had husbands.

Her marriage was organized by a matchmaker, which was frequent on the time. She had spent a lot of her life cooking for and taking care of her father and three youthful brothers. “I needed to alter my life,” she says.

The couple met solely twice earlier than the marriage. She wasn’t on the lookout for love, however she hoped that love would develop as soon as they married.

Su Min didn’t discover love. However she did have a daughter, and that’s one cause she satisfied herself she wanted to endure the abuse.

“We’re all the time so afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so all of us select to endure, however in truth, this sort of endurance isn’t proper,” she says. “I later realized that, in truth, it could actually have a substantial impression on youngsters. The kid actually does not need you to endure, they need you to face up bravely and provides them a harmonious residence.”

She considered leaving her husband after her daughter obtained married, however quickly she turned a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and as soon as once more responsibility known as. She felt she wanted to assist take care of them, though by now she had been recognized with melancholy.

“I felt that if I did not go away, I might get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter she would take care of the 2 boys till they went to kindergarten, after which she would go away.

The spark of inspiration for her escape got here in 2019 whereas flicking by social media. She discovered a video about somebody travelling whereas dwelling of their van. This was it, she thought to herself. This was her method out.

Even the pandemic didn’t cease her. In September 2020, she drove away from her marital residence in Zhengzhou and he or she barely appeared again as she made her method by 20 Chinese language provinces and greater than 400 cities.

It is a choice that has definitely resonated with girls in China. To her thousands and thousands of followers, Su Min presents consolation and hope. “We ladies usually are not simply somebody’s spouse or mom… Let’s stay for ourselves!” wrote one follower.

Lots of them are moms who share their very own struggles. They inform her that they too really feel trapped in suffocating marriages – some say her tales have impressed them to stroll out of abusive relationships.

“You’re a hero to 1000’s of girls and plenty of now see the potential for a greater life due to you,” reads one of many prime feedback on considered one of her most-watched movies.

“Once I flip 60, I hope I could be as free as you,” one other remark says.

A 3rd girl asks: “Auntie Su, can I journey with you? I am going to cowl all of the bills. I simply wish to make a journey with you. I really feel so trapped and depressed in my present life.”

“Can you might have the lifetime of your desires?” Su Min contemplated over the decision. “I wish to inform you that irrespective of how previous you’re, so long as you’re employed onerous, you’ll undoubtedly discover your reply. Identical to me, although I am 60 now, I discovered what I used to be on the lookout for.”

She admits it wasn’t straightforward and he or she needed to stay frugally on her pension. She thought the video blogs may assist increase some cash – she had no concept they’d go viral.

She talks about what she’s realized over time and her newest problem – finalising the divorce.

“I have not obtained my divorce certificates but, as a result of the regulation has a cooling-off interval and we are actually in that interval.”

Certainly one of her followers wrote that the cash she paid her husband was “price each penny”, including: “Now it is your flip to see the world and stay a vibrant, unrestrained life. Congratulations, Auntie – this is to a vibrant and fulfilling future!”

She says it is onerous to break up as a result of “lots of our legal guidelines in China are to guard the household. Girls usually dare not divorce due to household disharmony”.

At first, she thought that Du Zhoucheng’s behaviour may enhance with time and distance, however she mentioned he nonetheless threw “pots and pans” at her on her return.

He has solely known as her twice in the previous couple of years – as soon as as a result of her freeway entry card was tied to his bank card and he needed her to return 81 yuan (£0.90). She says she hasn’t used that card since then.

Undeterred by the delay in securing a divorce, Su Min retains planning extra journeys and hopes to in the future journey overseas.

She’s frightened about overcoming language limitations, however is assured her story will resonate around the globe – because it has in China.

“Though girls in each nation are completely different, I want to say that it doesn’t matter what setting you’re in, you have to be good to your self. Study to like your self, as a result of solely if you love your self can the world be stuffed with sunshine.”

Further reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore